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[ 88 ] the rise and fall of soul and self
Although “there would be some lucid intervals and some hope of escape,” even in
these “I was deprived for hours on end of any awareness of solace”; at other times,
“I was a good deal strengthened by the proofs of Holy Scripture and fought
against the assailing doubts of death with the weapons of faith and hope.” But Otloh’s
misgivings returned: “I was altogether enveloped by complete doubt and darkness of
mind, and I thoroughly doubted if there were any truth or profit in the Bible or if
Almightily God existed.”
10
Further development of an autobiography genre occurred in the writings of
Guibert of Nogent (1053-1124), whose preautobiographical writings had been
traditional and stressed the opposition between Flesh and Spirit but whose auto-
biography, which was written after the style of Augustine, is notable not only for
its searching self-examination but for its perceptive and sometimes scathing
accounts of the motivations and behaviors of others. In his twenties, Guibert had
studied with Anselm,
at whose instigation he theorized that human mentality is
divided into Reason, Will, and Affection. In Guibert’s view, these three are ways
to look both toward God and toward the world. Subsequently, he wrote a com-
mentary on Genesis according to this system, which is one of the most sophisti-
cated psychological studies produced in the Middle Ages. Still later, he opened
his account of the First Crusade with the searching remark that “it is hardly
surprising if we make mistakes in narrating the actions of other people” since
“we cannot express in words even our own thoughts and deeds” and “can hardly
sort them out in our own minds.” He continued, “it is useless to talk about inten-
tions, which, as we know, are often so concealed as scarcely to be discernible to
the understanding of the inner man.”
11
Abelard (1079-1142), who initially did not write autobiography, had been a
student of William of Champeaux. But Abelard rejected his teacher’s preoccu-
pation with abstract metaphysics, putting in its
place a philosophical and human-
istic concern with human individuality. On metaphysical grounds, Abelard
rejected as incoherent William’s theory about the ways in which universals of
increasing specificity nest “inside” one another in human beings, claiming that
each human has his own numerically different humanity. He wrote that even
though people say that Socrates and Plato are one in their humanity, it is obvious
that they are different from each other both in matter and in form. Abelard’s
humanism showed up subsequently both in the impetus that he gave to autobi-
ography, which in his hands highlighted the exploration of interpersonal human
subjectivity, and in closely related themes that were the centerpiece of his ethical
writings.
Abelard’s
autobiography was a byproduct of personal tragedy. In his late
thirties, having acquired a reputation in Paris as a brilliant philosopher and
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